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What ho! It’s Jeeves & Wooster in Perfect Nonsense

A view of the upcoming theatrical shenanigans by Bertie Wooster

When Jeeves shimmied in this morning, bearing the customary a.m. reviver, he murmured something about penning a few words on the subject of my forthcoming theatrical adventure. I knocked back the concoction (a family recipe he will not be induced to share with me, though I am confident tomato juice must feature somewhere on the list of ingredients), felt the mental upheaval that is a natural consequence of a convivial evening at the Drones Club subside, and decided I would mull the brief over in the bath.

It was as I prepared to leave the house some hours later that Jeeves reminded me of my task and I realised that while lost in reflection (and a tricky solo rendition of Minnie the Moocher) in the tub, it had entirely slipped my mind. I stood not upon the thingummy of going but leapt at once to the writing desk and took up a thoughtful pen.

I had been at the Drones the other night and was entertaining the crowd with a story about a rather trying time I had recently undergone at Totleigh Towers, when Bingo Little piped up “Bertie, you ought to be doing this on the stage!” and it seemed to me a capital notion.

The story is in the line of a timeless human drama. I am not too shy to promise you love, loss and the terrifying prospect of marriage to Madeline Bassett, who believes the stars are God’s daisy chain and is the only daughter of Sir Watkyn Bassett: the fiercest magistrate who has ever fined me five quid for pinching a policeman’s helmet. I consider myself an authority in the field.

Jeeves will be on hand to provide assistance in that inimitable way of his. He paled slightly when I confided my plan to him, but almost instantly I could see his formidable mind begin to work. I hope the evening will not only be entertaining but will also let me demonstrate Jeeves’ renowned mental powers at their very height.

We are also receiving able assistance from my Aunt Dahlia’s butler Seppings, who I understand has nurtured an ardent love of the dramatic arts in his bosom for many years.

I have no doubt that with a light dusting of help from these two allies I will be able to portray the twelve characters, thrilling scenes and high speed cab rides of the story in a manner to lift even te heaviest heart. I honestly can’t imagine anything going wrong!

Ah, Jeeves informs me that that may have tempted the vengeance of the theatrical gods. Pride cometh before a fall, if I remember the phrase correctly and it’s not something else. I’m sure he’s merely being a trifle alarmist.

Well, for now, tinkerty tonk! And if I don’t see you in the audience, perhaps I can catch you in the bar afterwards.

Bertie Wooster

Jeeves & Wooster: Perfect Nonsense opens at Stanley Halls on Tuesday 26 September 5 for five nights.

Buy tickets in advance here

Rehearsal photographs by the cast